Last night was one of those nights where the concepts and principles of self care were less existential and more practical. I am intentional with my self care every day: getting enough sleep; what I feed myself; taking time to create; taking time for relationships; taking time to feed my soul. Even so, last night I was out of gas!
All too often our gas tanks run out at a time when doing self care isn’t a possibility. This is in part because of how we think of the self, and what we think is required to care for it. From that perspective I didn’t have time to self care last night. I didn’t have time for a long soak in a bath; or a cup of tea and my journal; or a heart to heart with my bff. For most of us we believe that self care is a splurge, it’s extra, and it is more than we deserve. This is a lie. The truth is that you have a self, and it IS worthy of care. So what does care for the soul in a practical, “hack,” kind of way?
The first step I take is to take a deep breath and to ask me what part of me is so depleted? The body, mind, and soul are so interconnected that it can take a moment to recognize which part is depleted, and sometimes it is the whole.
Upon identifying the need I was then able to assess what I needed to feed myself. This is beyond nutrition, but what I feed my mind, what I feed my soul. Sure my feelings want mac n cheese with an ice cream chaser. But is that really going to feed me? I might reach for wine or beer, claiming it as a reward for getting through these tough days, but is it actually feeding me? I can binge for hours on a streaming service, but is it feeding me? I can talk to a friend, but is it feeding me?
The third step is asking me what action do I need to take? It sounds counter productive when you are out of gas to take action. But after you assess and feed, then you need to make active choices about what comes next. The more aware you are of the choices you make daily, the more power you regain in your life. It is easy to pass something off as not your fault. But you are the only person in control of your self, and your self is worthy of you making good choices on its behalf.
These three simple steps got me to bed time on time so that I could rest my weary self, and begin today fresh. Let me know in the comments how well they work for you.
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