This month I’ve been pondering different types of friends and the important roles that each one plays in our lives. As I wrote I was so excited about each type that I forgot to mention the most important part! These blogs were not a checklist for the type of people you need to go out and find, but to assess the relationships that you have and to check where you are putting your time and energy. I cannot tell you what is the best formula for how you invest your time and energy into friends through receiving, sharing, and giving. Only you can assess your needs, your friends, and your resources.
While you are assessing your self, your friends, and your relational resources, go ahead and assess your capacity for intimacy. “Intimacy is the mutual self-revelation that causes us to know and be known.” - Mathew Kelly
It doesn’t matter what type of people you have around you, if you lack the ability to know and be known you will struggle to make and keep friends. If you are finding that you struggle in this area I suggest you pick the person whom you trust the most, and feel most safe around, and reveal a small piece of you that you don’t normally, not a deep or sensitive piece, but something about you that is below the surface. Should this person reciprocate, then you have not only been accepted by them, but you have deepened the relationship. If the person does not reciprocate, don't worry, that just means that they are not ready to share that part of them yet. Time may allow them to, if not then you know where you stand with them and can try again with another friend.
I remain amazed at the friends I have made, and kept, over the years. I am thankful for them, all that I have learned from them, all that I have shared with them, and all of the hard won wisdom that I have been able to give. What a gift to share life with such amazing people. I am equally amazed of what I have learned of myself through opening up and being known.
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