We have spent the past couple weeks looking at different types of adult friendships, learning from those older than us and having a healthy peer group. If you missed any you can start here and catch up! This week we are looking at those in our lives that we have a chance to influence, teach, or guide.
The Teachable are those that are, most often, younger than us, to whom we can teach what we have learned. We are able to walk beside them and help them find their way. Sometimes for life, sometimes for a season, sometimes for just one lesson. The beauty of having someone younger in our lives is that we are able to take the hard lessons of our lives and help others learn how to avoid them.
When it comes to these friends it is important to remember that it is not about you, but their journey, and you get to be a part of it. Your job isn’t to make them do or not do something, but to use your life experience as a resource for them to learn from. And in return you will find that you learn from them as well. This is not a one sided friendship where you give all, but you will give more as you have more to give. The greatest blessing in these types of relationships is when you model teachability and learn more than you ever expected. I think being teachable is the best mindset to have. It is not just curiosity, or willingness to learn, but the humility to admit that I don't know everything, only enough to know that I don't know everything. Therefore it is an honor to learn from those who have gone before, to learn from our peers, and to learn from those we are pouring into. Nothing proves that you don’t know it all like living as if you do. Having friends in your life who help you keep teachable is a gift. Having friends in your life to teach is a part of that gift.
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Last week I began a series of blogs on the variety of relationships we need to have in our lives, as well as the roles we play in the lives of others. This week I’m going to discuss the teachers in our lives. These are those folks that pour into us, mentors, coaches, older friends who have gone before us in life and know how to help us walk through life in a way that is healthy and beneficial. Sometimes they walk with us through most of our lives, sometimes they are there for a season or just one lesson.
A little over a year ago I moved to a new state and found myself needing to build relationships with teacher type friends again. I don’t mean friends with those who teach school - though I’ve done that too - I mean making friends with those who are older than me, who have life experiences and wisdom that I can learn from. There is so much wealth of knowledge in those who have come before us, who have seen life through many decades, and who are willing to let us pick their brains and learn from their experiences that we may make better choices.
The older I get the more aware I am of my role as a teacher in the lives of those younger than me and find myself impressed by those who understand they need older women in their lives. As a society we used to live in community with people of all ages, but modern life has us locked into peer groups with work being one of the few places we might have a variety of ages around us. I am also aware of how much these younger gals give back to me, what a blessing to have reciprocal teaching. As an older mentor/teacher friend I am able to take the lessons, the important experiences, and share them in a productive way so that my young friends can avoid some of the problems I had, which is a gift to them, and a gift to me to use what felt like a horrible mess to benefit of others.
I challenge you to take a moment to assess the type of friends that you have, who pours into you? Whom do you pour into? If you are lacking these kinds of friends, ask yourself what keeps you from developing such relationships?
If you are looking for a free community where you can interact with people of all ages, ask questions, learn, and grow check out https://deborahsprague.com/members
Recently I came across data suggesting that women live longer because we come together in community, and it is in having relationships that we stay healthy longer, mentally sharp longer, and thrive longer. I have long known that humans were not made to live on an island, or in isolation, but in community. But in this modern age it is increasingly difficult to have the community we need. There are multiple types of people we need in our lives, teachers, peers, and the teachable. Let me explain.
- Teachers are those that pour into us, mentors, coaches, older friends who have gone before us in life and know how to help us walk through life in a way that is healthy and beneficial. Sometimes they walk with us through most of our lives, sometimes they are there for a season or just one lesson.
- Peers are just that, friends our age who have a variety of knowledge we can tap. Sometimes they teach us, sometimes they learn from us. We walk together through life, grow together through life, and celebrate and mourn together. These are the friends we work hard to keep for as long as possible.
- The Teachable are those that are, most often, younger than us, to whom we can teach what we have learned. We are able to walk beside them and help them find their way. Sometimes for life, sometimes for a season, sometimes for just one lesson. When it comes to these folks it is important to remember that its not about you, but their journey, and you get to be a part of it.
In life every path is unique as you are the only person who has exactly your personality, with your experiences, and your needs. BUT there is always a universal theme to our struggles and growth. In my experience I have found that we each need a variety of people who have a variety of ages and experiences to help us along the way, and we need people to pour into most of all, to keep the necessary perspective on life that it is not just about us, but about our community as well. This month I am going to explore each of these roles and I hope you will sign up for this blog so that you don't miss a single thought. Comment below what role you are most excited to learn about.
