When talking with my clients about their job or career I often hear their internal battle as: I don’t love what I do, but I cannot quit because I have nowhere to go. By this they suggest that they don’t know where they want to go, only that it’s not here. I have learned that when people feel stuck in a career, are burnt out, wanting out, and hating it, they have a disconnect inside that is causing this struggle.
It is normal to want our work to have a sense of purpose and intentionality. We want work that is honest, ethical, and grounded in values that are in line with our personal beliefs. Most of all, we want to be interested in our field of work. That whole idea of “love what you do and you will never work a day in your life” isn’t entirely true, and we know it, but the truth in the sentiment is that when you are passionate about what you do, you will remain engaged with it. If your beliefs, faith, and values give you a purpose for life, it is only natural to want to implement this purpose, or calling, into your life. We spend so many hours each week working, it only makes sense to make money in this area.
If you read this and think “but i don’t know what I am passionate about!” You are not alone! I recently had a client bring me this challenge. In such moments I bring clients back to what matters most to them. What are your values?
When you think of your preferred lifestyle, what does that look like?
What makes you happy that you don’t want demands on?
When you sit to think about who you really are and what purpose you have in this world, or what calling you have by faith, what is it?
How can you make a difference in the lives of others while providing for yourself and pursuing your own passion?
As you take a few minutes to ponder each of these questions, what did you learn about yourself? Please share below! I enjoy helping people identify their passion and create a lifestyle that is authentic to who they are. I look forward to hearing how this helps you on your way.
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Hello Friends! It has been an exhausting couple weeks and I have been greatly reminded that there is only so much self care one can do to maintain the self before it becomes self care to survive. The past couple months have been quite demanding and the wall I was expecting to hit came, and as prepared as I was for it, it still slammed hard and I still switched into survival mode.
Self care to survive is different from self caring to thrive. It goes back to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, there is no energy or capacity for self actualization, instead the focus is on the basics: shelter, sleep, food, and getting through. Nourish, restore, repeat. Basics. The steps that don’t feel like self care, but are the most important, primal, parts of self care.
I am worthy to be cared for, so I am worthy of nourishing food
I am worthy of enough sleep.
I deserve to give my body the movement it needs.
I deserve to bathe and and present my self in a way I am proud of.
I am worth maintaining my spiritual practice.
You are worth more than the basics, but when time doesn’t allow, when you don’t have enough energy to care for you more, lean into the basics and don’t worry about the more. Celebrate the small wins, doing laundry; making a healthy meal; keeping to your budget when you are too exhausted to care how much you spend; saying no to something that would put you beyond exhaustion and into burn out.
For today schedule an hour to show you how much you care and pick an activity to show that care. Maybe its a bath where you unplug and detox. Maybe its journaling. Maybe its reading your bible and praying. Maybe its a run or a hike. Maybe its gardening. Whatever your activity is, pick something that speaks to your soul that you are worth the nourishment and restoration that comes through taking this time for yourself.
You may be wondering how a life coach can help, quite simply I will hold you accountable to making the choices that care for you so that you can continue to heal and live life to the fullest. If you want to see for yourself how this works click here to schedule your free 30 minute sample session.
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Have you ever set goals for yourself and wondered why you aren’t making the progress you want? I have! What I learned is that reaching the goal is not always as important as the lessons that I learn along the way. Have you heard the saying “set goals so big that you have to grow to reach them”? If your goal were so easy to achieve, then you wouldn’t be growing, so lets talk about why you are stuck.
One reason you think that you are stuck is because you aren’t looking at the growth you have had along the way. It is easy to look at what you lack and to think “I’m a failure.” The reality of deciding that you cannot is that you are right! But what have you actually done? How much progress have you made? Don’t get caught up in completing your goal, celebrate every step along the way!
Or is your reason for being stuck something deeper? What do you believe about you? Why don’t you deserve this goal? I have found myself there, believing what I’m working towards will never be since there isn’t enough for me. There is no point in wasting time and energy if I won’t succeed so I’m going to believe that I cannot make it no matter what I do, and just sit here miserably in mediocrity. No one changes their life without the discomfort of growth, loss, and the unknown.
The work of today is to identify the journey you are on, the small goals of today, and this week; and then the big goal that you are growing into. To name the discomfort you are feeling and acknowledging that you want to take the easiest path around it instead of walking with it a while. And to form a support system, do you have someone to hold you accountable? To cheer you on when you make those small goals? Or are you struggling in silence, waiting to reveal the end result? Don’t do this alone! As a coach helping you achieve your goals is what I do, I can show you how with in 30 minutes, sign up for free here!
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As I set up at a cafe to write I overheard a lady say “we need a break from the summer!” There is so much truth in those words! As wonderful as summer is, the change of pace, the social demands, this idea that we need to get as much out of these long hot days as possible … its exhausting! September means back to school, back to routine, different social obligations, cultural and family obligations… It begins to weigh heavy that we don’t get a break, so we have to make one before we break.
Everyone I know is going through something difficult right now. The weight is too much for us to each to carry, so we rely on each other for support. It is a beautiful practice really, but for many of us we need to lay our burdens down and take a break. I can hear your objections already! But… but… but! Here is what I say to all of your objections: You need a break, so schedule one before you are broken. For every 5 people I know going through a difficult seasons, 1 of them has said “It is time to pause.” And then they define what that looks like. Might be as simple as turning off their phone/gadgets for the afternoon, getting outside, and letting their thoughts clear. Might be more complicated: taking 3 months to move across the country and settle in before finding a job and resuming all of the pressures of life. Most of us can’t do that, nor do we need to, but for many of us a weekend unplugged would do a world of good. Don’t think about all that won’t get done while you are gone. Don’t think about how “behind” you’ll be, because you are the only one who is judging your self for that. It is time to vacate! You may have traveled all summer, but did you really get to breathe? Decompress? Process? Restore? Heal? No! Then TAKE A BREAK and seek out those things! Doesn’t have to be a long break, just an intentional one.
Our beings are so amazingly intertwined. As I sit to write I am so mentally fatigued that the weariness is not only in my body, but my soul. I want to put in a good 30-45min workout, but my brain cannot handle the thought of having to do the work. Have you ever noticed how much work your brain does while you exercise? Its incredible right! It is also beautiful how forcing myself to move, to exercise, how that revives my mind and allows me to do more, go further. The physics law comes to mind about an object in motion staying in motion. We must move, or we die.
Our bodies communicate to us, they ache when we work them too hard. They break when under too much pressure. Our stomachs act up. Our heart rates change. Our sleep cycle gets interrupted. I was once told that being thirsty is the first notification that we are getting dehydrated. I hadn’t thought about it like that, but its true. Our body tells us what it needs long before it breaks.
How long can you go before you finally check your engine?
We’ve all had that car where the check engine light comes on, stays on, is regularly ignored, until one day we are stuck on the side of the road wondering what happened and why it won’t work. Let us be honest, we do this with our bodies too. A friend recently started taking a mineral supplement that has greatly helped me, after just a week she was shocked at how much better she felt! As we discussed it I realized just how mineral deficient she was, she had ignored that check engine light that her body gave her for a long time and now she is in a season of recovery. I don’t judge her, I’ve been there.
In college I had a required internship and the guy I interned for warned me that the worst thing that happens to people is that they don’t just burn out, but “flame out.” Which he defined as burning out in such a way that you bring others down with you in a ball of flames. Out of my respect and appreciation for him that is one goal I have had ever since, not to flame out, but along the way I have come very close because I have not paid attention to the warning signs from my body. My body needing to move, needing to rest, needing to be fed real nutrition, needing light and peace.
The season I am in right now is a bit more sedentary. It is too hot here for me to hike, so I am home more, sitting more, lounging more, and I am finding myself struggling to want to move. I want to check out, blame it on the summer heat, and wait in the cave of my room for autumn. So this challenge is for me as much as you:
How will you move today?
What will you feed your body?
How will you rest?
How will you experience light and peace?
I would love to hear what you commit to doing this week in the comments. And if you want to go further just email me through the Link Below, I coach people to be the best they can, Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually.
