This month I’ve been pondering different types of friends and the important roles that each one plays in our lives. As I wrote I was so excited about each type that I forgot to mention the most important part! These blogs were not a checklist for the type of people you need to go out and find, but to assess the relationships that you have and to check where you are putting your time and energy. I cannot tell you what is the best formula for how you invest your time and energy into friends through receiving, sharing, and giving. Only you can assess your needs, your friends, and your resources.
While you are assessing your self, your friends, and your relational resources, go ahead and assess your capacity for intimacy. “Intimacy is the mutual self-revelation that causes us to know and be known.” - Mathew Kelly
It doesn’t matter what type of people you have around you, if you lack the ability to know and be known you will struggle to make and keep friends. If you are finding that you struggle in this area I suggest you pick the person whom you trust the most, and feel most safe around, and reveal a small piece of you that you don’t normally, not a deep or sensitive piece, but something about you that is below the surface. Should this person reciprocate, then you have not only been accepted by them, but you have deepened the relationship. If the person does not reciprocate, don't worry, that just means that they are not ready to share that part of them yet. Time may allow them to, if not then you know where you stand with them and can try again with another friend.
I remain amazed at the friends I have made, and kept, over the years. I am thankful for them, all that I have learned from them, all that I have shared with them, and all of the hard won wisdom that I have been able to give. What a gift to share life with such amazing people. I am equally amazed of what I have learned of myself through opening up and being known.
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Our beings are so amazingly intertwined. As I sit to write I am so mentally fatigued that the weariness is not only in my body, but my soul. I want to put in a good 30-45min workout, but my brain cannot handle the thought of having to do the work. Have you ever noticed how much work your brain does while you exercise? Its incredible right! It is also beautiful how forcing myself to move, to exercise, how that revives my mind and allows me to do more, go further. The physics law comes to mind about an object in motion staying in motion. We must move, or we die.
Our bodies communicate to us, they ache when we work them too hard. They break when under too much pressure. Our stomachs act up. Our heart rates change. Our sleep cycle gets interrupted. I was once told that being thirsty is the first notification that we are getting dehydrated. I hadn’t thought about it like that, but its true. Our body tells us what it needs long before it breaks.
How long can you go before you finally check your engine?
We’ve all had that car where the check engine light comes on, stays on, is regularly ignored, until one day we are stuck on the side of the road wondering what happened and why it won’t work. Let us be honest, we do this with our bodies too. A friend recently started taking a mineral supplement that has greatly helped me, after just a week she was shocked at how much better she felt! As we discussed it I realized just how mineral deficient she was, she had ignored that check engine light that her body gave her for a long time and now she is in a season of recovery. I don’t judge her, I’ve been there.
In college I had a required internship and the guy I interned for warned me that the worst thing that happens to people is that they don’t just burn out, but “flame out.” Which he defined as burning out in such a way that you bring others down with you in a ball of flames. Out of my respect and appreciation for him that is one goal I have had ever since, not to flame out, but along the way I have come very close because I have not paid attention to the warning signs from my body. My body needing to move, needing to rest, needing to be fed real nutrition, needing light and peace.
The season I am in right now is a bit more sedentary. It is too hot here for me to hike, so I am home more, sitting more, lounging more, and I am finding myself struggling to want to move. I want to check out, blame it on the summer heat, and wait in the cave of my room for autumn. So this challenge is for me as much as you:
How will you move today?
What will you feed your body?
How will you rest?
How will you experience light and peace?
I would love to hear what you commit to doing this week in the comments. And if you want to go further just email me through the Link Below, I coach people to be the best they can, Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually.
