Caring to Survive

Caring to Survive
Hello Friends! It has been an exhausting couple weeks and I have been greatly reminded that there is only so much self care one can do to maintain the self before it becomes self care to survive. The past couple months have been quite demanding and the wall I was expecting to hit came, and as prepared as I was for it, it still slammed hard and I still switched into survival mode. 
 Self care to survive is different from self caring to thrive. It goes back to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, there is no energy or capacity for self actualization, instead the focus is on the basics: shelter, sleep, food, and getting through. Nourish, restore, repeat. Basics. The steps that don’t feel like self care, but are the most important, primal, parts of self care. 
 I am worthy to be cared for, so I am worthy of nourishing food
 I am worthy of enough sleep.
 I deserve to give my body the movement it needs.
 I deserve to bathe and and present my self in a way I am proud of.
 I am worth maintaining my spiritual practice.
You are worth more than the basics, but when time doesn’t allow, when you don’t have enough energy to care for you more, lean into the basics and don’t worry about the more. Celebrate the small wins, doing laundry; making a healthy meal; keeping to your budget when you are too exhausted to care how much you spend; saying no to something that would put you beyond exhaustion and into burn out. 
 For today schedule an hour to show you how much you care and pick an activity to show that care. Maybe its a bath where you unplug and detox. Maybe its journaling. Maybe its reading your bible and praying. Maybe its a run or a hike. Maybe its gardening. Whatever your activity is, pick something that speaks to your soul that you are worth the nourishment and restoration that comes through taking this time for yourself. 
 
You may be wondering how a life coach can help, quite simply I will hold you accountable to making the choices that care for you so that you can continue to heal and live life to the fullest. If you want to see for yourself how this works click here to schedule your free 30 minute sample session.

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Hacking Self Care in 5 Minutes

Hacking Self Care in 5 Minutes
Every time I talk to someone about self care I hear a dozen excuses about not having money for a spa day, or time for the gym, or the time and money for a vacation. I understand this lack, so let's talk about practical, daily, self care. Self care is saying I am worthy of being cared for. Read this again out loud: I am worthy of being cared for. Repeat as needed.

As this truth sinks in consider what this looks like in every day life. If I am worthy of being cared for, then I am worthy of:
Rest.
Nourishment.
Moving my body.
Vacating my every day life to restore myself.
Receiving respect from my friends, family, and partner.
Exploring new ideas, hobbies, interests, and activities.
Working towards my goals, professional and personal.
Living life to the full!

So how do you begin to care for you?
 First: Find 2-3 tasks that you do every day that show you that you care for you. These can be as basic as getting enough sleep, taking your high quality supplements, and eating well. Thank your self for doing these things.
 Second: Look at the list above and pick 3 areas where you would like to focus on growing in care. Then pick 1 task for each area that you will be intentional about implementing this week. Write them down.
 Third: Acknowledge the hesitations, fears, and beliefs you have about the tasks you wrote down. Say them out loud to release them. Will any of these concerns keep you from doing these caring tasks? Are you finding that you believe you aren’t worthy of being cared for? Or are you recognizing that if you don’t care for you then you won’t have any care to give? 
 Fourth: Seek help where you need it. Maybe you need to set a boundary with a friend. Maybe you need to communicate with your partner about your needs. Maybe you need a coach, like myself, to walk with you through these overwhelming feelings that are keeping you from caring for you. You are worth it, so ask! 


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I want to hear what way are you going to care for you this week, share below!

The Body Breaks

The Body Breaks
Our beings are so amazingly intertwined. As I sit to write I am so mentally fatigued that the weariness is not only in my body, but my soul. I want to put in a good 30-45min workout, but my brain cannot handle the thought of having to do the work. Have you ever noticed how much work your brain does while you exercise? Its incredible right! It is also beautiful how forcing myself to move, to exercise, how that revives my mind and allows me to do more, go further. The physics law comes to mind about an object in motion staying in motion. We must move, or we die. 
  Our bodies communicate to us, they ache when we work them too hard. They break when under too much pressure. Our stomachs act up. Our heart rates change. Our sleep cycle gets interrupted. I was once told that being thirsty is the first notification that we are getting dehydrated. I hadn’t thought about it like that, but its true. Our body tells us what it needs long before it breaks. 
How long can you go before you finally check your engine? 
  We’ve all had that car where the check engine light comes on, stays on, is regularly ignored, until one day we are stuck on the side of the road wondering what happened and why it won’t work. Let us be honest, we do this with our bodies too. A friend recently started taking a mineral supplement that has greatly helped me, after just a week she was shocked at how much better she felt! As we discussed it I realized just how mineral deficient she was, she had ignored that check engine light that her body gave her for a long time and now she is in a season of recovery. I don’t judge her, I’ve been there. 
  In college I had a required internship and the guy I interned for warned me that the worst thing that happens to people is that they don’t just burn out, but “flame out.” Which he defined as burning out in such a way that you bring others down with you in a ball of flames. Out of my respect and appreciation for him that is one goal I have had ever since, not to flame out, but along the way I have come very close because I have not paid attention to the warning signs from my body. My body needing to move, needing to rest, needing to be fed real nutrition, needing light and peace. 
  The season I am in right now is a bit more sedentary. It is too hot here for me to hike, so I am home more, sitting more, lounging more, and I am finding myself struggling to want to move. I want to check out, blame it on the summer heat, and wait in the cave of my room for autumn. So this challenge is for me as much as you: 
 How will you move today?
 What will you feed your body?
 How will you rest? 
 How will you experience light and peace? 

I would love to hear what you commit to doing this week in the comments. And if you want to go further just email me through the Link Below, I coach people to be the best they can, Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually.

Basic Care in Times of Change

Basic Care in Times of Change

This has been the kind of week where I coach two people before I can even grab coffee! I feel like its been full throttle, lots of tasks to complete, interruptions, and possibilities. My schedule changed February 1 and I’m still getting used to it. With change comes choices, and two of the choices I’ve been actively making are 1. To sleep enough. 2. To eat enough. 

  I am aware that these are subjective goals. But their aim is the same: to provide consistent and balanced energy throughout my day. I have been reminded lately that not eating enough interrupts the body’s processes, including the ability to sleep through the night. Sleep is the body’s time to restore itself. Without the nutrients the body needs needs to restore its self, it can’t. Without the time to rest through sleep, it cant. 

 We all struggle with change because it takes a while to rewrite the neuro-pathways in the brain. It is easy to judge ourselves, and each other, for not achieving change as quickly as desired. It can be easy to hate change because it can be such a difficult process. In fact, I’ve found that humans tend to avoid change until staying the same is more painful than walking through the process of change. Which is why during this season of changes in my daily and weekly schedules I have been choosing to support the one thing I cannot allow to change: my health. I need to remain healthy and strong to accomplish all I need to do. I want to remain healthy and strong because I love me. Thus I choose to care for my self in a way that will keep me healthy and strong by prioritizing sleep and adequate nutrition during this season of change. 

 I am all too aware that when people think of self care they think of luxuries big and small. I too struggle with this because I do love little treats. But self care is also the tough love of making the better choice when we want to “treat” ourselves to the easy. “I’ll treat me to brownies tonight because ______.” When we know that the better choice may be foregoing it. But to truly love one self, to care for one self, to value one self as worthy is to acknowledge that we are worthy of the tough choices. Instead of “treating” myself to one more episode of my current binge I’m going to turn it off, do my yoga, do my nightly supplements/face/teeth/essential oils routine, and get myself in bed in time to get my needed sleep. Choosing priorities and routine during a season of change is self care. Choosing to accept the change and the modifications that are necessary is self care. Choosing to care for me in the most basic ways during turbulent times is self care. Its not glamorous or Insta worthy. But I am worthy of it.


  So what basic self care are you choosing today? Let me know in the comments below! 

The Mirror of Consistency

The Mirror of Consistency

 Today, a random Thursday in January, I reopened the calorie counter on my phone for the first time in months. I knew it would be messy. I knew that my numbers would be wrong. And I knew that there was no point in waiting until Monday. I wondered why we play this game of “I’ll start then, and until then I’ll do whatever I want!” What is with this belief of one last hurrah? We tell ourselves that we deserve it, or that we want to enjoy it, or whatever because we are about to do something major in our lives... I call this a big lie. A lie we all enjoy believing at some point. A lie I use often to make me feel better about the state of my life, the disorganization of my eating, the sheer chaos of my weeks... but I survived and therefore I earned a nap... this ice cream... a day in bed to recover. 

  So right now I’m calling out this lie in myself, I hope you will join me in embracing the truth that what I do is what I always do until I make the conscious choice to change. Or to quote Newton: an object in motion says in motion until it is forced by a bigger object to either stop, or change course. I’m no physicist, but I find Newton’s work quite applicable to the human psyche, we stay our course until interrupted. And if that course is harmful to us the interruption can be brutal.

 We know that doing something consistently is what defines us. And maybe this is what makes change so difficult, because it’s not just the making of the change, but it is also the redefining of who we are, while grieving the loss of who we were. 

 So here we are in mid-January. I can do a quick check of my goals for the month to see how successful I’m being. And I will, but for this moment I’m sitting with who I am. This woman who has gone through so much in her life, who has made so many changes, and who remains frustrated by goals she cannot seem to achieve and I sit with her because she’s in pain and needs presence. 

 That may read and feel super existential and weird, that’s ok. I hope you are beginning to grasp what self care looks like in this moment: being present with myself. Accepting where I am in this moment and experiencing the feelings I feel. 

I receive this gift of care tonight: 5 minutes of breathing deeply while acknowledging my journey, my frustrations, and my pain. 

I release these lies and cover these wounds with the balm of truth. 

I celebrate the choices I made to care for me today by __________.


Are you ready to talk to someone about your struggles in reaching your goals? If so you can email me through the link below, coaching people through their struggles to success is what I do!
 
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