On my to do list for November I wrote “last 2 months of the year” as a reminder to revisit my goals for this year and to check my alignment with where I want to be when this year ends. I realize that because of how 2020 has gone this may feel futile, but it’s even more important to adjust ones alignment now, before the year crashes to an end. (I mean, does any one expect 2020 to end smoothly?) I was encouraged to complete this task while watching a vlog the other night. The vlogger spoke of how a decade ago she was so depressed and therefore had created a fantasy world to escape into, when she realized what she had done she started to make the changes necessary to live in a place where she felt alive, where she would be surrounded by the environment she needed to thrive, she created her lifestyle to support who she is, mind, body, soul! And she is now so alive!
What is so significant about this? Because our reality right now seems so bleak, we need the reminder that we do have control over our own lives and outcomes. We are the gatekeepers of what comes into our homes, the food we put in our mouths, and over our schedules. Over the years so many clients have said to me “I can’t make that change because...” which is an excuse, choosing to be victim to ones own choices. The reality is that humans don’t make a change until it is more uncomfortable to stay the same. We can assess our values, and see what in our lives aligns with them. But until we start making the intentional choice to embrace what we want and stop settling on the status quo, we will remain in conflict with ourselves, enduring extra stress, and playing victim to our own choices. I do this too, and I can tell you it’s not easy to see it, to call myself on it, and to make the new choices. It is easier to stay in the sameness. But it’s always worth it.
What new choice do you want to make about:
- What your daily schedule looks like?
- What goes into your mouth?
- What comes out of your mouth?
- What social media you consume?
- What shows/movies you consume?
- What books you are, or are not, reading?
- What environment you live in? (Yes, cleaning your house is self care!)
- What you do to relax?
- what you do to feed your soul?
Self care is about creating a life you actually want to live, not escape from. I look forward to hearing about your success with these small choices, and how they change your life! So leave a comment, or email me, change is easier with support.
At some point in high school we all exclaimed “who told you that!” To a friend, or a parent, who told you either that your secret was out, or that someone was spreading lies about you, or some combo of both. I remember that sinking feeling of the weight of the mess I knew I now had to clean up.
High school was a long time ago, and part of growing up is realizing that I cannot control what others say about me, only what I say about me. But what about what I say TO me? Do you pay attention to what you think about yourself? Do you find yourself wondering where these ideas came from? We get bogged down in a swamp of anxiety and negative thoughts without ever asking “who told me this?”
Who told you that you are not worthy of self care? And why do you repeat it to you? You will not have time to care for you until you prioritize you! The minute you discover you are worthy of caring for you is the moment you schedule some you time!
Wait, what excuse are you making? So you have kids? All the more reason to take care of you! If you are on empty then you’ve got nothing to give them.
Oh, your life is so busy? Are you kidding me? Whose life isn’t overloaded? Saying “No.” to people and opportunities, without explanation, is self care.
Oh, you think you can’t afford self care because spa days are so expensive? Then it’s time to rethink self care. Self care is not all special days, treats, and adventures. It starts with accepting the truth that you are worthy to be cared for, and living this truth.
Let’s talk about this practically. What are some basic level self care actions? Sleep, nutritious food, showering, drinking enough water; these are all basic physical care. Taking a 1-3 hour break from social media, and/or your cell phone; spending 20 minutes talking to a friend; taking 2 minutes for deep breathing; reading; utilizing your favorite creative outlet; these are all basic care for your mental and emotional self. Taking time to meditate and pray; read sacred passages; appreciate the beauty around you; pause to be thankful for the life you have; these are all basic care for your soul self. So receive the gift of 2 minutes of self care today, what will it look like?
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