Dr. Jordan Peterson said “One of the advantages of being true to your own visions is that you won’t get what you don’t want.” The opposite reality being that if you don’t keep true then you won’t get what you so desire. For many this is the greatest consequence in life, to get to the end and not feeling like it mattered. This is why so many people spend their 30’s reassessing the priorities that they set in their 20’s and why by the late 30’s it looks like they are having a crisis because they make so many big changes in quick fashion.
It is not a crisis to make changes and create the lifestyle that you want.
It is not a crisis to change careers, even if that is leaving the workplace to be a SAHM.
It is not a crisis to move five states a way.
It is not a crisis to align all of your time and money to reflect your values and to stop trying to keep up with the expectations of others.
It is not a crisis to buy chickens and start a garden.
It is not a crisis to get a new car, as long as it is within your budget.
Even if you do all of these things, it doesn’t mean you are having a crisis! Maybe it means for the first time ever you are not in a crisis! Have you paused to recognize the chaos you were living in, the constant conflict with yourself, by living out expectations that didn’t align with your values, with your priorities, and were pulling you further away from your goals?
Or are you that person who is reading this and for the first time you are wondering if you really do have permission to dream, to live out that vision, and to pursue your life in a way that makes your heart sing? Yes, you do have permission.
Where ever you land in this process here are three areas to focus on to align your life and avoid the internal chaos:
- Your highest values. What matters most to you in life? What do you refuse to compromise? What do you want to define you? These are your highest values.
- Your values will help you choose priorities. Throughout life our priorities change and as they change we adjust the goals we need to achieve to fulfill our prioritized values. For example, if one of your highest values is to be a mom, as you let this value set priorities you may adjust your goals to reduce how much you work outside the home so that you can spend more time with your kids.
- Last but not at all least, your faith. In fact, this is probably your highest value, which will definitely influence your priorities. But I find that when I do the work in this order that I expose my true self, my deepest heart, by naming my values and priorities, and then I check them against my faith and what God says about me, and about them. This might feel like double the work, but the resistance I have towards God when I already know what is in my heart and coming from me is less when I realize that He is asking me to give up something I think is so great for something that He knows is far greater.
Like Peterson said, being true to your vision for life will get you what you want. But you won’t have that life until you do the work to get it. What you choose is what you have.
Are you feeling stuck in this process? An endless battle with yourself? Feel like you have to battle everyone else to convince them that you are on the right path for you? This is what I do as a coach, help you navigate the path to creating a life that you can live in the fullness of who you are and what matters most to you. Get your free sample session here.
I received a message today asking "why don't I want to do life as I sit in my office today?"
I asked "Is it because you are working a job that is not from your heart?"
She replied "No, definitely not from the heart."
This is a real struggle in our modern age. We have the basic financial demands of life that must be met. All the while we were raised with the idea that living from the heart, true to ourselves, is better than just surviving. Most of us find a tolerable path and fill our weekends and vacations with the life we really want, knowing that our day to day will provide us those moments. But deep down we aren't truly fulfilled. You have dreams that you have left buried deep in the background because every time you think about them you hear all of these voices in your head telling you why you won't achieve these dreams, repeating lies, and raising your self doubt. These words are holding you back, and helping you over come them is just the beginning of how I help my clients.
When you think about living the life of your hopes and dreams, what does that look like?
What does that feel like?
What are you willing to do to achieve this life?
Dreams are a wonderful way to fill a day, but when it comes time to turn them into goals, to make a plan to achieve them, and do the hard things to reach them, this is where most folks decide to let them stay dreams. You deserve to live a meaningful life, from your heart, with the accomplishment that comes with making these dreams a reality. To get started today, I offer a free, 1 hour, sample session so you can see how I work for your success. Schedule yours here.
If you aren't ready yet, that's ok, you aren't alone! Until then, sign up for my blog so that you can continue to receive encouragement and tips for living the life you want.
When talking with my clients about their job or career I often hear their internal battle as: I don’t love what I do, but I cannot quit because I have nowhere to go. By this they suggest that they don’t know where they want to go, only that it’s not here. I have learned that when people feel stuck in a career, are burnt out, wanting out, and hating it, they have a disconnect inside that is causing this struggle.
It is normal to want our work to have a sense of purpose and intentionality. We want work that is honest, ethical, and grounded in values that are in line with our personal beliefs. Most of all, we want to be interested in our field of work. That whole idea of “love what you do and you will never work a day in your life” isn’t entirely true, and we know it, but the truth in the sentiment is that when you are passionate about what you do, you will remain engaged with it. If your beliefs, faith, and values give you a purpose for life, it is only natural to want to implement this purpose, or calling, into your life. We spend so many hours each week working, it only makes sense to make money in this area.
If you read this and think “but i don’t know what I am passionate about!” You are not alone! I recently had a client bring me this challenge. In such moments I bring clients back to what matters most to them. What are your values?
When you think of your preferred lifestyle, what does that look like?
What makes you happy that you don’t want demands on?
When you sit to think about who you really are and what purpose you have in this world, or what calling you have by faith, what is it?
How can you make a difference in the lives of others while providing for yourself and pursuing your own passion?
As you take a few minutes to ponder each of these questions, what did you learn about yourself? Please share below! I enjoy helping people identify their passion and create a lifestyle that is authentic to who they are. I look forward to hearing how this helps you on your way.
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