Grace for the Journey

Grace for the Journey
 We have reached that time of January where the hype of resolutions has faded into the reality of consistency. It is so easy to shame myself for not doing better, or being better, and then I am reminded that shame is paralyzing and does not bring me success. What then does bring success? 
 Acknowledging the reality of the journey has taught me the importance of self-compassion. It is easy to shame myself when I compare myself to others, but their path is not mine, and when I accept grace and celebrate the lessons I have learned along the way, I am more likely to apply those lessons and make better choices along the way.  Recognizing that my journey is incomparable to anyone else's has been liberating. It has enabled me to shed the burden of comparison and embrace my own identity fully, as well as silence the voice of shame.
 Consistency is key to make the desired changes in our lives, and the way to generate consistency is to recognize the need for two elements: 
1. Small changes. 
2. Celebration! 
 For every big change we make there are a thousand little changes that helped us complete the big change. Economist Thomas Sowell said “There are no solutions, only trade offs.” How I understand this to mean is that our choices are always compromises, we choose a, which means we have to give up b. This is how change happens in our lives, I choose to start the project, that means I’m stopping whatever fun activity I was using to procrastinate my project. And for every time I choose to complete a small step towards my goal, that is one less step in the opposite direction.
 I haven’t emphasized lately the importance of celebration! Humans have the horrible ability to focus on the one negative in a sea of congratulations. This is why it is so important to celebrate your wins, no matter how small! I asked earlier this week on my insta page @DeborahSpragueOfficial (give it a follow) “what is one way you cared for yourself today?” and celebrated the wins of those that answered. It is so important to build your success on a good foundation, and that includes accepting your own success. It is so easy to down play it and tell you that you aren’t worth the celebration, and by doing so you will crush your own spirit and stay exactly where you are because you will continue to believe that you are worthless. You are NOT worthless! So start right now and celebrate your successes today, no matter how small! 
 Coaching people to live their best lives by helping them discover just how worth it that they are, and how much value they bring the world, is what I do. Get your free 30 min sample session here so that you can discover your purpose. 

The Mirror of Consistency

The Mirror of Consistency

 Today, a random Thursday in January, I reopened the calorie counter on my phone for the first time in months. I knew it would be messy. I knew that my numbers would be wrong. And I knew that there was no point in waiting until Monday. I wondered why we play this game of “I’ll start then, and until then I’ll do whatever I want!” What is with this belief of one last hurrah? We tell ourselves that we deserve it, or that we want to enjoy it, or whatever because we are about to do something major in our lives... I call this a big lie. A lie we all enjoy believing at some point. A lie I use often to make me feel better about the state of my life, the disorganization of my eating, the sheer chaos of my weeks... but I survived and therefore I earned a nap... this ice cream... a day in bed to recover. 

  So right now I’m calling out this lie in myself, I hope you will join me in embracing the truth that what I do is what I always do until I make the conscious choice to change. Or to quote Newton: an object in motion says in motion until it is forced by a bigger object to either stop, or change course. I’m no physicist, but I find Newton’s work quite applicable to the human psyche, we stay our course until interrupted. And if that course is harmful to us the interruption can be brutal.

 We know that doing something consistently is what defines us. And maybe this is what makes change so difficult, because it’s not just the making of the change, but it is also the redefining of who we are, while grieving the loss of who we were. 

 So here we are in mid-January. I can do a quick check of my goals for the month to see how successful I’m being. And I will, but for this moment I’m sitting with who I am. This woman who has gone through so much in her life, who has made so many changes, and who remains frustrated by goals she cannot seem to achieve and I sit with her because she’s in pain and needs presence. 

 That may read and feel super existential and weird, that’s ok. I hope you are beginning to grasp what self care looks like in this moment: being present with myself. Accepting where I am in this moment and experiencing the feelings I feel. 

I receive this gift of care tonight: 5 minutes of breathing deeply while acknowledging my journey, my frustrations, and my pain. 

I release these lies and cover these wounds with the balm of truth. 

I celebrate the choices I made to care for me today by __________.


Are you ready to talk to someone about your struggles in reaching your goals? If so you can email me through the link below, coaching people through their struggles to success is what I do!