I am well aware of what happens while we wait. The hope that keeps us going, until it begins to feel like it is crushing us. The effort we make that seems to go nowhere. The prayers we pray. The angst that feels like it is crushing our lungs. The constant wondering if it will ever happen, knowing that just because it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it won’t, but it doesn’t mean it will. Carrying this unseen weight into all moments, desperately wanting answers, while knowing that only God holds them.
As a coach this is where I would investigate what is holding you back, all the while knowing that sometimes we just need the grace of time. Grace means unmerited favor, so to be favored with time is an amazing gift, but it doesn’t feel amazing in the wait. In the moment it can feel hopeless, helpless, never ending, crazy, aching, longing, searching, or even an extended dark night of the soul. This is where I find the gift of perspective. It may have been YEARS of waiting, working, quips/proverbs/quotes, and wondering when you will see the results. So more time does not feel like a gift, but you are exactly where you need to be, which means if you need time you need it for a reason … or a few reasons.
In my experience that isn’t exactly comforting. But you aren’t comfortable right now, you are in the season of YET. Part of the discomfort is discovering how little of life is comfortable. Humans do everything we can to get and keep comfortable, we tolerate horrible situations because the known is just comfortable enough, and the unknown is terrifying. For those of us who have stepped into the land of YET, we have discovered value in the discomfort. There are a lot more feelings than just comfort. Comfort can bring laziness, indifference, and an unhealthy tolerance. It is in having the strength, patience, and bravery to sit in the uncomfortable YET, waiting for things to finally work out, that we discover life has far more for us than comfort and happiness.
Here you are in the uncomfortable yet. Discovering that there is more to life. More to you. More to be. Are you white knuckling it? Or are you taking this time to grow, heal, and become the person who is ready to step out of the yet and into the finally? As a coach this is what I do, I help people find perspective and growth in the waiting. I help people overcome that which keeps them stuck. And I can help you too! Click here to sign up for a free 30min sample session to discover how.
We are finishing the season of graduations, college a month ago, and high schools in my area graduate over the next week - yes, I know how late that is! The reminder I get from graduations is two fold, the first is that from every new beginning comes from some others beginnings end (thank you Semisonic). And the second is that graduations mark the moment where a group of people who have been sharing life together complete that season, and go different ways.
The road of life takes us all different places, and what we focus on is what we become. When looking back across the years it is easy to wonder where someone else went, what they are up to, and why you no longer have a relationship. But what may be less obvious is how much you have changed as you have made the choices that have shaped your life. We are so used to being us that we don’t notice changes unless they are rapid and big.
The reality is that most change happens slowly and intentionally until one day you look back and realize that this is no longer who you are, but who you were. As beautiful as it is to arrive at this place, it is also the place where you will begin to realize that those friends who aren’t growing like you are, or in the direction you are, are a place of discomfort as you struggle to continue to connect with someone whom you care about, but with whom you have less and less in common. At some point if your friend really cares they will ask you, in some form, “where did you go?”
For some, losing relationships that no longer fit is just a part of life. But for others it becomes a painful choice between paying the cost of losing friendships, or paying the price of being the person they want you to be. Each choice costs and brings different outcomes. May we all be so fortunate to be surrounded by close friends who are also growing and seeking the best for each other. But for those friends we lose, and the ones we have not yet grown into knowing, it is a painful, awkward, and isolated season of growth.
It is easy to feel lost in these transitional seasons where you have outgrown one area of life, but are still growing into a new place. Don’t stop! It may look and feel like you are alone, but you aren’t, you just haven’t found your people yet. As a coach I have tools that can help you get there faster. Don’t wander endlessly! You can sign up here for a free 30 min session to see how it works.
