I got thinking about Cinderella this week and it struck me that like so many things in life, her choices could have been different, and they would have ended quite differently. Here are three different scenarios and potential outcomes that really struck me:
1. Cinderella could have chosen to be happy that she was invited to the ball, but set no intention of going. She would have been happy, but not much would have changed in her life. Everyone around her would continue treating her poorly, in fact, they would probably treat her worse because she complied with their desires and aligned with their beliefs about who she is and why she wasn't worthy of going to the ball.
2. Cinderella could have gone to the ball, but played a wall flower, just happy to be there, but not dance or anything, just enjoy her night out as a small win, all the while getting home long before pumpkin time.
3. Cinderella is a rags to riches story, as long as you don't read the Grimm version! But it is more than that. Yes, there is the benefit of a Fairy Godmother, but roll with me a minute as I break this down and get back to the reality that Cinderella could have just been happy, instead she chose to change her life.
This fairy tale is of a woman who knows her value, she knows she is worth more than the abuse that she receives, but she hasn't realized the power she has to get out, so she complies with her abusers to attempt to go to a ball that could change her life. But like all abusers the step mother has to keep control, so oh darn Cindy, you aren't ready to go on time! You did it to yourself and now you can't go and its your own fault even though I took advantage of your helpfulness. Like so many victims Cindy cries out in her pain and frustration, and is, dramatically, heard by her fairy godmother, who could have given the answers presented above, instead she chooses to help Cinderella change her own life.
Let's talk for a moment about what would of happened if FGM showed up and told Cindy that she can choose her own happiness and should be thankful that she was invited, even though she was unable to go. We all know a thankful heart is a happy heart! Besides, Cindy has a roof over her head, a room with a fireplace to keep her warm, and she keeps busy helping with the family. Through her tears Cindy would come around to a thankful heart, but a piece of her would die. She would believe, more than she already did, that she deserved the abuse she received, and she did not deserve anything more. And she would stop trying to get free, and die young from the exhaustion of her life.
Cinderella could have taken FGM up on the whole going to the ball, but be back on time thing, choosing only to eat a little, enjoy the sights, and be a wallflower at the ball, returning home early and not risking pumpkin life! This would have been a small win, nothing wrong with those! Reminding Cindy that she is worthy to be treated as well as all the other ladies of the kingdom, but only if she plays by the rules and has her FGM help her when she can no longer help herself. It may be enough to help energize her to change her circumstances a little, but over time it would all fade and she would go back to her life as it was, with the fading memory of a beautiful evening to cherish in her heart.
Neither of these would be a great story, and truly we are only interested in great stories! So here is Cindy, a gal who let her FGM change her life. She took the opportunity to dance with the prince and let her true self show when it really mattered, and when he came for her she welcomed him! There are two perspectives on opportunity: that it is a magical moment that may or may not arrive, or it is a series of choices that brings one to a place of big opportunity and big choices. Most of us don't have the time or safety net to wait on FGM to magically appear. However the universal truth is that opportunity comes from the choices we make and that many people have well-meaning intentions, but they don't fully understand that we are writing GREAT STORIES, they don't understand that our unhappiness is simply that we are made for more and the more we work for our purpose the happier we become. I don't believe that happiness is the purpose of life, but it is a nice part of it! (that's a different blog entry.) Discomfort isn't the worst either, it teaches us a lot about ourselves, and great stories always overcome challenges. And that is why this is a great story, sure Cindy needed help from a friend to do it, but she could have let this opportunity be a nice night, instead she let it change her life. What before you will change your life, and how are you choosing it?
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