Have you seen these videos on social media that begin with “we can please normalize…” ? While many of these are a pushback from the glamorized life on social media; the request for balance, a desire to feel acceptable as we are, and to be loved as we are is at the core. No video encompassed this more than the one that asked that we normalize normal houses that don’t have top of the line kitchens and what not. I laughed out loud! Do those sharing this realize what they did there?! Normalize Normal! That is the request.
When I speak with someone who is looking for normal I realize that what they really want is for who they really are to be acceptable in society. The same requests comes through those videos: “Can we please make my struggle acceptable to society so I can stop struggling?” But that isn’t how life works, sure we want to be found acceptable and loved for who we are, but what about the struggle to be authentic? I have long believed that when we are living lives that are not in line with what matters most to us that we will remain in conflict with ourselves until we make the necessary adjustments.
There is nothing wrong with being different, we identify how we are different and how it works for us, and how others are different and it works for them, and honor the fact that we need all kinds in our world. We can celebrate differences all day! But that doesn’t mean we feel accepted and loved as we are because we are looking for acceptance and love in the wrong place.
The core issue is do you accept you, good, bad, ugly? Do you even know who you really are and what really matters to you? Do you like you? Or are you asking everyone else to accept someone that you yourself will not accept?
Accepting you as you are doesn’t mean you stay exactly how you are. It means that you recognize who you really are, and what changes need to be made to be the best you. That is the most amazing part of this life, being able to transform and live life to the full! As a coach helping you work through this acceptance and change is what I do. If you want to see how, click here for a free 30min sample session.
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