Here in the USA we are entering into our 6th month of “Stay at Home” restrictions. For 5 months our world has been tuned upside down and sideways. We are battling new fears daily. We are fighting for our health, our rights, our lives, and IT IS ABSOLUTELY OVERWHELMING! Every day the news media is fear mongering; our “friends” on social media are arguing their points; and we don’t have our usual diversions from the entertainment media. This societal unraveling is unnerving and stressful, what’s more is that it is fueling toxic levels of anxiety. Anxiety is the most contagious emotion, we pass it along without even realizing what we are doing! (Sound familiar?) And in this moment, it is rampant.
If you find yourself overwhelmed and “just coping” through this strange season, then you may have entered the emotional state of “numb.” Numb is the place we enter when we no longer have the capacity for all that is being thrown at us. Numb manifests behaviorally in different ways, but the feeling remains a protective device; protecting our mental health, emotional health, and the very essence of our souls.
So what do you do when you discover that you are numb?
- Name it. In speaking this truth “I am numb” you identify what is going on and that something needs to be done. It becomes real. We cannot address unidentified issues, only the ones that we know. So name it, acknowledge where you are, and read step two.
- Get specific. Now that you’ve named the bigger problem, identify where specifically you are overwhelmed. Are you overstimulated by the different forms of media? Are you drained from being locked up with your family for days and weeks? Does zoom exhaust you? Are you physically drained from the imbalance of being stuck at home and not in your normal work/gym/eat/sleep routine? What is pushing you past your capacity and triggering your defensive need to numb?
- Identify 2 small changes you can implement immediately to reduce the demand on your energy and capacity and increase you ability to care for you. These changes might need small hacks, like a timer for social media, or scheduling what news program you want to watch. If you need help finding hacks, or small changes, email me below! As a life coach this is what I do.
- When we take something out we need to put something in. So as you make changes to remove draining habits, you need to find energizing, or restorative, habits to implement. This is called an exchange and it is the most effective way to implement change in our lives. Cutting out mindlessly wandering the internet? What engaging activity can you implement? Turning off the tv earlier to help you calm down before bed, what self soothing activity can you do during that time? Sometimes the question isn’t “what do I want to stop?” But more so, “What do I want to start?” In the process of starting, something must end.
You know your self and your life better than anyone, you know your goals and your dreams. Now is your time to move towards them, and out of all the distracting chaos.
Want to be more proactive in your self care? Sign up here: https://getoiling.com/PsucheLife/landing/self-care-landing-page
The truth about humans is that we don’t want to change until it is more uncomfortable to stay the same. It doesn’t matter how miserable we are in our circumstances, the known is still safer and more comfortable than the unknown. So the way to keep comfortable is to choose change, to decide that it is good, and to embrace it.
Wait, what!?! I know, it’s contradictory. But do you really want to wait until you are completely miserable before you make that change? Doing everything you can to keep everything the same, even though you are thoroughly miserable? I call this “Comfortably Miserable” and we all land there at various times for various reasons. Sometimes we land there because of choices we’ve made that have caused us to give up the ability to get ahead of the change. Sometimes we land there because we need this relationship to be as perfect as we imagine it to be. Sometimes we land there because of analysis paralysis. But the day comes and we must get unstuck! We either recognize that our misery is greater than our comfort, or the catastrophic event occurs, knocking every piece of comfort loose.
So how do you embrace change? I find its a two fold process, on one side you are celebrating the new, exploring, engaging, and entering into the possible. On the other side you are grieving what is being lost. With all change there is loss, in letting go of what isn’t working anymore; remember that holding on to these elements so that you don’t have to feel loss can cause more damage. Most of us focus on one or the other when going through change. The sunny adventurer celebrates all of the new possibility, seeming to not notice the pain of the loss of all that they leave behind. While the fearful avoid change and focus on all the horrible aspects of it, the loss, the unknown, the pain, the fear. The truth is that during the process of change we need to honor both: celebrating the new, grieving the loss. It is not always an easy path, but living with this awareness sure beats being miserably comfortable.
