This year has been a lesson, a struggle, and completely overwhelming to all of us. The greatest lesson I have been learning this year has been about fear. Fear is a natural part of humanity. Fear triggers fight or flight. Fear can be a healthy warning, especially around deadly animals, or the edge of a cliff. But there is a dark side to fear; it can manipulate us, paralyze us, stir us into a panic. And I have seen, and experienced, all of those this year.
When the pandemic first set in I sat at home and did my best to work, but eventually I realized that I felt like I was sitting there waiting to die. There was so much chaos and confusing information at that time that I felt manipulated into believing something, anything, instead of being empowered to educate myself. While I didn’t panic purchase toilet paper, I did react to given info instead of pausing to think it through and respond. It took some time for me to realize how much fear had crept in, and when I did I realized that I needed to make a choice: to live out of fear, or to live in freedom.
It is super easy right now to point to big issues in our world and decide what others are choosing out of fear, or out of freedom, but even that is a self protective measure that comes from fear. The truth is that I cannot decide for you, I cannot control you, I can only judge you and control my self. I do not want to carry the weight of judging, and that is my choice. I do have the freedom to educate myself, to choose to respond and not react, to assess the information I have and to make the best choice possible.
When I’ve heard folks talk about different mindsets I didn’t know, from experience, how difficult it would be to make the shift from one to another, or how seemingly small steps would have such huge results. I have lived out of fear for so long that it is familiar, comfortable, and seems safe. But as I am embracing the discomfort of change I am not only finding freedom, but safety. Living out of fear is exhausting. This intentional mindset of making the best choices I can and moving forward in freedom, living by my conscious, letting the spirit move, is energizing and a whole new world!
All it takes is pausing and asking me: is this a fear reaction, or an intentional choice?
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“An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion, with the same speed and in the same direction, unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.”
Newton’s first law of physics is applicable across all areas of life, especially self care. While it is more likely to sound like the quip on the left, the truth remains that human behavior has a powerful “unbalanced force” of a tool called “choice.” We make choices all day, every day, passively, assertively, and even unconsciously. It is easy to ignore that we make these choices, or to blame them on others, but that doesn’t benefit us. The last choice you actively made was to read this blog. (Thank you!) You probably didn’t think much on this choice before doing it. It probably felt more like an action than a choice. But what about the negative choices? The one you made passively, or subconsciously, and don’t like the result of? What would happen if you acknowledge that you did, in fact, make that choice?
What would happen if you paused to think through how that choice was made, and what choice you would like to make next time? What outcome do you want, and how do you get there?
I’m late in posting this blog. You probably didn’t notice. But I know it. Just like I know every excuse I made about every choice I made while procrastinating my writing! So this is a challenge to me too! This afternoon I chose to entertain distractions. I told me that I had no words anyway... so here I am, finding the words, and challenging myself to think through how I got here and reminding myself that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and so are you. You didn’t get here by chance, you got here by choice. And you ARE here. Pause and give your self the gift of acknowledging it.
— I am exactly where I am supposed to be. —
Now you face another choice: do I beat me up for being here? Or do I accept it and look for my new choice, my new opportunity, the me I want to be? If you choose the latter, then we are on the same path my friend! Comment below on what this new choice is and we can celebrate our journey together!
Want to be more proactive in your self care? Get your free resource here!
