The first of the year is a great moment to check your goals, much like a mile marker or intersection, where are you? Are you on the way? Did you complete some goals and are therefore ready for new ones? The first of every month is a also a great time to visit and revisit these questions. So why all the January hype? I suppose it goes back to advertisers trying to make a dollar, which in modern times means hype across social media about a new year and a new me!
Maybe I’m cheap, but I don’t buy it. Humans are not Amazon Prime, a new us doesn’t arrive in 2-4 days! (That was a great meme I saw recently.) The experts say it takes 14 days of consistency to form a habit. This doesn’t magically happen when we wake up. Nor is there some magic energy that propels us to success. We know this. So why do we buy the hype? The Diets. The gym memberships? Dry January? Why? Because it is an easy starting point. And everyone else is, so why not maximize the camaraderie? So here we are, 7 whole days into the new year, how are those goals? How much are you shaming your self for your inability to overhaul your life in 7 days? ... yeah, that’s what I thought.
Let me be clear: guilt and shame do NOT bring successful change. They bring anxiety, frustration, pain, compliance, and more guilt and shame, but not successful change. And there is absolutely nothing about January that will magically change that. So, how can you change how you approach change? Here are my 4 tips!
1. Set SMART goals. Simple, measurable, attainable, reasonable, time sensitive goals. Start small and simple. You didn’t arrive here in one month did you? Ok, so why fix it all in one! Take those big goals and break them down.
2. Good, better, best. When setting reasonable and attainable goals we have to be honest about what is a good enough result, what is a better result, and what is the best result? Attaining a good result is just as worthy of celebration as attaining your best result. Honor and celebrate your success as you go, then you’ll want to create more!
3. Have a shame buddy. You know that person in your life who is brutally honest, they love you enough to call you out? Them! Tell them how you are shaming you for not achieving your goals and let them truth those lies right outta ya! Then celebrate your success and ability to stick out your plans when it gets rough. The hardest part is in your head!
4. “Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.” - Anne of Green Gables. Receive grace my friend. You can only do your best today, and some days feel ruined before they start. That’s ok, do your best and tomorrow make better/different choices. A practice I am still learning to implement is when today goes off the rails, make choices in the evening to set tomorrow up to be better. While being fully present helps one delight in life, it is also wise to look at the bigger picture, what residue remains from yesterday? What does tomorrow hold? What needs to be done now to put today to rest, and prepare me for tomorrow?
January holds no magic. Life won’t be different in February unless you make one consistent choice every day. And you DO have all the magic you need in your self, so set some goals and enjoy the process of achieving them, you amazing achiever you!
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