Over the holidays I heard a quote that really challenged me, but that I won’t quote accurately, it was something like “Do the stories you tell in public match how you live in private?” The obvious challenge here is to see if my actions match my words in both public and private spaces. The greater challenge that I find in this quote is to question the stories I tell myself in private, do those align with who I really am and how I live?
Throughout our lives no one talks to us more than we do to ourselves. The internal dialogue we have shapes not only how we view the world, but how we view ourselves, and from these viewpoints we present who we are, or who we think we are supposed to be, to the world in public and private spaces.
It seems to be easy to fake it until you make it, to pretend to be what you want to become, but inside you know the truth and the part of you that so deeply longs to be seen, known, and loved as you truly are does not allow you to believe that you are someone that are are not. This is not to say that you don’t need to change, and grow, and become more tomorrow than you are today, but to say that there is a great value in living authentically and with integrity. It can also be scary, especially if you have often experienced negative responses to the parts of you that you like the most, for example, if you like that you are a kind person, but you have been brutally mocked for this kindness.
As you consider how you want to show up in the world, both in public and private spaces you may hear those negative thoughts race through your mind “you aren’t really kind, you are selfish and only do nice things for others so they like you and do nice things back.” How you handle this inner dialogue will make all the difference as you become who you truly are and create the life you actually want. As a coach this is what I do. It is so easy to look at where you are now and give up on yourself and give into those voices, but you don’t have to. You can become the person you were made to be, and not just the product of what you think is expected of you. I look forward to helping you! You can schedule a free, 30 min session here.
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