I recently met someone who immediately hunted out my boundaries and tried to push across them. After a couple of clear “no’s” I informed this person that I wasn’t interested in any form of relationship where I would be so disrespected. I gave this person a chance to show their character and what showed up was someone who wanted to disrespect and control me, while not really getting to know me. This experience reminded me of the Eleanor Roosevelt quote: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." A couple of days later a friend shared a meme that really sums up what we all face daily, in all relationships, it said “no is a necessary magic. No draws a circle around you and says ‘I have given enough.’”
I have met so many, like myself, who have been repeatedly guilt tripped for saying no. It feels like I am guilty for taking care of myself, or for having a different perspective and opinion. And the more I think on it the more I realize it feels like the person giving the guilt doesn’t want me to experience the unexpected power of no. Such a small word, but a clear and powerful in meaning.
But what power there is in my self and my personhood to say no, to set boundaries and hold them, and to take responsibility for my actions as well. How much easier it is to rid myself of folks who aren’t interested in knowing me and sharing life’s journey with me when I honor myself by identifying and reinforcing my boundaries, being respectful to others, and taking responsibility for my choices. So this is my challenge to you and I today, to say no as needed.
I will set the boundary and hold it, while respecting myself and others, and not hold this power over them, but share it freely.
I will set the boundary and hold it, while respecting myself and others, and not hold this power over them, but share it freely.
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